Monday, March 19, 2007


Krystal was using my computer the other day. I love that she is amazing and quirky. This is a list that she made. It made me laugh so I am posting it.

Krystal once swallowed a panda.
Use the force; Krystal does.
When you say “No one’s perfect,” Krystal takes this as a personal insult.
Krystal once had some left over playdough. The end result was Chuck Norris.
In a nationwide taste test, 4 out of 5 people prefer Krystal to Pepsi and Coke.
Krystal puts grease on handlebars.
In order to communicate with other people, Krystal invented language.
Krystal can speak Braille.
They say a meteor wiped out the dinosaurs…Krystal doesn’t like lizards.
If earth was an apple, Krystal would be the best tasting part.
Krystal knows how to recite the alphabet sideways.
Once a cobra bit Krystal's leg, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer, Krystals’ cure death.
A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually, in fact, a warning that the spot belongs to Krystal; and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Krystal can touch MC Hammer.
Krystal knows Victorias Secret.
Krystal created Halo-and sold it to Microsoft.
A unicorn once kicked Krystal, that’s why they no longer exist.
Sally sold seashells down by the seashore. How many shells did Sally sell down by the seashore? None, because Krystal called her stupid and broke all her seashells.
Krystal can divide by zero.
You know the dead sea? Krystal killed it.
Lying is not in Krystal's vocabulary. Truth forms itself around whatever Krystal says.
In the first Jurassic park, the tyrannosaurus rex wasn’t chasing the jeep. Krystal was chasing the tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
When they say that looks can kill, They’re talking about Krystal.
The song “simply the best” was written as an understatement about Krystal.
Even if it looks like chicken, smells like chicken and tastes like chicken…if Krystal says it’s pork. It’s pork.
Everybody loves Raymond, Except Krystal.
Krystal wears custom made shoes with ‘Krystal’ imprinted on the bottom. That way, if someone asks for her autograph, they will get it permanently signed on their faces.
Krystal invented the GIF format for pictures, originally it stood for “Gosh, I’m Fabulous,” and the pictures were all self portraits.


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